Habits, The Key to Self-Care

You'll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success if found in your daily routine. - John C. Maxwell

Let’s talk about habits. We all have them. You likely used habits this morning to get ready for the day. For example, I got up and completed my morning ritual. I then showered, put on deodorant, put gel in my hair, flossed, brushed my teeth and then got dressed. In that order! I do this every morning. If I deviate from this habit in any way I have to stop and think through my process to ensure I did everything to get ready for the day. Take a moment and think about what you did this morning to get ready for the day.

The point in bringing up such a mundane activity such as getting ready for the day is to show you already have habits in your life. You may not have even realized you had a habit. But, congratulations! You have habits and a morning routine is a good one! However, some of our habits are not so good and actually detrimental. And we often spend a lot of energy thinking about these negative habits and feeling overwhelmed. You may even think that you cannot break a habit.

Well, I have bad news for you. You do not break habits. Research shows that our minds create neurological pathways based upon repeated actions. Eventually, it becomes hardwired and we do not even think about what we are doing. Think driving a car, your morning routine or the route you took to work this morning.

So, if we do not break habits, what do we do? Well, you replace a habit with another habit. You build in another habit that creates a new neurological pathway that eventually gets hardwired. Sounds easy, right? Well, it is not so easy at first because you are going against that pathway you created. However, it can be done! You create a new routine and begin to practice it daily. That daily practice, over time, becomes a new habit. That new habit replaces the old habit.

The key is to make the new routine easy! You want to make the new habit you are trying to create easier to do than the new habit. So, you build in triggers to help you get started.

Many years ago I wanted to create a morning routine habit. For most of my life I got out of bed at the last minute, ran around getting ready for work and getting out the door as quickly as possible. It put me in a bad mood and I felt like I was reacting the rest day. So, I set my alarm for an earlier time and I laid out clothes by my bed. When the alarm went off I got out of bed and immediately got dressed. I then went to my office which I had set up the night before for the morning.

I am going to be honest. It took a long time to get it hardwired. My body whined. My still small voice kept saying, “five more minutes!” There were mornings I got up and there were mornings I did not. However, I was patient with myself and focused on the goal of creating a morning routine. Eventually it became hardwired and a habit. Now I feel “off” when I do not get up and complete my morning ritual.

If I can do it, you can do it. Honestly, it is not about will power. It is not about motivation. It is not about drive. It is about small steps to be successful. It is about playing the long game. It is about being patient with yourself as you learn something new.

I think habits are key to self-care for a number of reasons. First, building good habits such as exercise, meditation, journaling, etc. are shown to be beneficial. But even more, habit building shows that you can change. You are not locked into the same patterns of behavior that you hate. You can grow. You can be the person you want to be and live with purpose. And to me, that is ultimately what life is about.

So here is your homework! Take out a pen and paper and set a timer for 5 minutes. Answer the following question:

What am I currently doing that is sabotaging me the most?

The answer could be as simple as eating too much sugar. Or it could be that you are careless with the way you speak and do not like how negative you have become.

Now, set another timer for 5 minutes and write out the new habit you would like to create. For example, let’s say you write down that you are eating too much sugar. The new habit you want to create might be to eat a healthy snack instead of a candy bar. Write down specifically what the new habit will look like and why you want to create it.

The next step is to put things in place to start building that habit. First, you would go to the store and buy healthy snacks that you like. Then make the healthy snacks more easily accessible at home instead of the candy bar. The next time you crave the candy bar reach for a healthy snack.

When you first start implementing the new habit your brain is going to fight you. You are building a new neurological pathway while the brain is going to want to use the ingrained pathway. So, you will have to be purposeful about your new habit. And it takes time to build the new pathway so be patient with yourself as you do it.

Great news! As you keep at it that new pathway is built and it becomes second nature to eat the healthy snack instead of the candy bar.

Once that new habit is ingrained and hardwired, then pick your next habit and work on it. I encourage you to not try to change too many things at once. Pick one habit to work on at a time in order to set yourself up for success.

And there you have it! Self-care is about taking care of yourself daily. To be the most successful, install habits around eating healthy, exercising, reading, etc. As you install new habits that deepen your self-care you will come to depend on them just as you depend on oxygen to breathe!

I hope you take something away from this post that is practical and helps you on your journey. Remember! It is a marathon we are all on and not a sprint. Pace yourself and embrace a Soaring Mindset! If you would like further assistance with your journey, please contact me.