Happiness is A Habit!

Happiness is a habit - cultivate it. - Elbert Hubbard

Do you remember the song by Bobby McFerrin, "Don't Worry Be Happy?"  The tune is super catchy and if you are familiar with it there is a strong chance you are humming it right now.  The song, obviously, is about being happy in the midst of the trials and tribulations of life.  We all face troubles.  That is inevitable.  The key is to maintain the emotion you desire in the midst of the trial you face.  That is often much easier said than done.

I listen to a podcast and every Friday he asks, "How do you want to feel?"  This is a great question.  Have you ever stopped to ask yourself how you want to feel?  If not, I encourage you to do so.  How do you want to feel?

Happy?

Joyful?

Excitement?

Passion?

Anger?

Frustration?

Did you know that you can generate how you want to feel?

I know what you are thinking:

"How can I be happy when my boss/spouse/significant other is always yelling at me?"

"How can I not be anxious when I am not making enough money to make ends meet?"

"How can I be joyful when I am experiencing this medical crisis?"

I totally get it!  It is easy to react negative to what is going on around you.  It is easy to get caught up in negative emotions when life is not going how we would like, you miss out on a promotion, your experiencing relationship challenges, a loved one is ill, etc.

But you have the power to generate the emotions you want. You have the ability to stop reacting to the event outside of you and generate the emotions you desire. You can be joyful in the midst of a crisis. You can be at peace in the midst of an argument.

So, how do we generate the emotions we want?

First, realize your feelings are habits. Here are some of the definitions of habit from Merriam-Webster's Dictionary:

• a settled tendency or usual manner of behavior

• an acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary

• a behavior pattern acquired by frequent repetition or physiologic exposure that shows itself in regularity or increased facility of performance

In other words, habit is how you act in certain situations. It is easy to see a habit when, for example, you are getting ready for bed at night - you probably do things in a certain order every single time. But think about the last time you had a strong emotional response to a situation. For example, you got into an argument with your spouse/significant other. Did you experience the same emotional response you usually have when you get into an argument? Think back. How many times have you had this same emotional response? If you realize this is your usual emotional response, then your emotion is a habit!

However, there is good news! Now that you realize that your emotions are habits, you can change the habit! You can create the positive emotional response you desire.

How to Generate Your Desired Emotions:

1. Identify Your Desired Emotion: Start by pinpointing the emotion you want to feel. It could be happiness, calmness, confidence, or any other feeling that aligns with your goals and well-being.

2. Visualize: Close your eyes and vividly imagine yourself experiencing the desired emotion. Engage all your senses—see the scene, feel the emotions in your body, and hear the sounds associated with that emotion.

3. Use Affirmations: Create affirmations that reflect the emotion you want to generate. These positive statements can help shift your mindset and reinforce the emotional state you're striving for.

4. Practice Gratitude: Cultivate gratitude for the things you have and the positive aspects of your life. Gratitude can help you tap into positive emotions and create a foundation for generating more positivity.

5. Engage in Activities: Engage in activities that align with the emotion you're aiming for. For instance, if you want to feel calm, consider practicing mindfulness, meditation, or engaging in a relaxing hobby.

6. Surround Yourself with Positivity: Spend time with people who uplift and support you. Create an environment that fosters the emotions you want to generate.

7. Monitor Self-Talk: Pay attention to your internal dialogue. Challenge negative self-talk and replace it with empowering and positive thoughts that contribute to your desired emotional state.

8. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind and gentle with yourself. Emotions are natural, and it's okay to experience a range of them. Practice self-compassion when you're not feeling the way you want to and use it as an opportunity to learn and grow.

9. Reflect and Adjust: Regularly reflect on your progress. If you find that certain strategies aren't yielding the desired results, adjust your approach and experiment with new techniques.

The Benefits of Generating Your Desired Emotions

1. Increased Resilience: Developing the ability to generate positive emotions can enhance your resilience in the face of challenges. You'll be better equipped to bounce back from setbacks and maintain a more optimistic outlook.

2. Improved Mental Health: Practicing emotional self-regulation through generating desired emotions can contribute to better mental health. You'll be less likely to get stuck in negative emotional cycles.

3. Enhanced Well-Being: When you have the power to generate positive emotions, you'll experience an overall improvement in your sense of well-being and life satisfaction.

4. Empowerment and Control: Instead of being at the mercy of external circumstances, you'll feel empowered to influence your emotional state. This sense of control can be empowering and liberating.

Conclusion

The emotions you want to create are within your reach. You do not have to be pulled from one emotion to the next. Like any habit, you can create the emotions you want. Use the tools discussed to create the emotions you want. It will not be easy because, let's be honest, bad habits usually are not easy to break. But if you develop a system to generate the emotions you want and track your progress, you will find that you will experience the emotions you desire.

After all, happiness is a habit!