Have You Lost Your Why?

I am thinking a lot about “my why.” Actually, I am thinking about the why of others. This really came into focus as I sat at work Friday morning and listened to my peers speak of the upcoming weekend. The excitement was palpable. I heard a few exclaim, “Happy Friday!” I asked some about their plans for the weekend and most were unable to provide any definite plans, but they were quick to point out how excited they were to not be at work. Just a few days later (i.e., Monday!) we sat in the same office preparing for our daily meeting. I asked several about their weekend and I received the same answer, “It was good, but it wasn’t long enough.” I started doing some quick math in my head. If you start counting at 5 p.m. on Friday, a weekend is 55 hours. What do we do with the other 113 hours? Do we just survive? Do we just whittle away our time waiting for Friday at 5 p.m.?

Please do not get me wrong. I enjoy the weekend as much as anyone. I look forward to my time to relax and rejuvenate. Not only that, but I enjoy time with my wife and children. However, my why is not living for the weekend. My why is living my best life every day so that I can grow, learn and serve others.

What is your why? Is it to survive for 113 hours to enjoy 55 hours? Is it to survive until you reach the magical age of 65, so you can retire and then enjoy your golden years? I want your why to be so engrossing, so inspiring, that live each day to the maximum. Yes, there will be bad days. Sure, there will be days that are absolute garbage, and you lose sight of your why. That does not stop you from getting back up, dusting yourself off and setting off again living your why.

Maybe you lost your why. Once upon a time, you knew what you wanted to do with your life. You were full of purpose and zeal. You planned to take tackle the world. Maybe, like me, you thought if you were a good person and worked really hard, things would, “just work out right.” Or maybe you are living someone else’s why. Perhaps you became a physician because your parents wanted you to. Or you took a job as an accountant because you heard it made good money. Or maybe you sacrificed your why on the altar of convenience as you made poor choices with get-rich-quick schemes.

Great news! You are not doomed. Life is not over. You do not have to live for 55 hours every week. You are not stuck on your current path. You CAN find your why and live with purpose. You can embrace the fullness of each day and live it to the full. Here are some practical, small steps you can take to find your why.

GET UP 5 MINUTES EARLIER TOMORROW

Go to your favorite room and give yourself 5 minutes to be alone with yourself. Leave your phone in another room! Turn everything off - the television, the computer, the tablet, the smartwatch. Take those 5 minutes to be alone and just sit there and think and ask yourself one question:

• What do I want my life to look like?

WRITE DOWN YOUR ANSWER

Allow your mind to roam free and dream about the answer. Here are some questions to help you flesh out this question.

• How do I want to be remembered when I am gone?
• How do I want those closest to me to think of me when they remember me?
• What is the thing I would regret the most on my deathbed if I did not try to do it?

Write whatever comes to mind, even if it seems silly, ridiculous, or unrealistic. Let the ideas flow and just write.

GIVE YOURSELF SOME TIME

Look back at what you wrote, but then set it aside for a couple of days. But before you put what you wrote away, schedule a date and time to get up 5 minutes early to come back and review what you wrote.

REVIEW YOUR LIST AND TAKE ACTION

Now that you have given yourself some time, what reaction do you get when reviewing the list? What stands out? What is ONE thing you could do today to begin creating the life you want to live? It could be as simple as smiling at your significant other. Or it could be that you say no when your friend wants to gossip about a mutual friend. Take one simple step.

Come back to this list regularly. I suggest at least once a week. Look for ways to live the life you want now. It is baby steps. It is showing up each and every day. As you do, you will begin to live the life you want. Your why will become obvious. You will live with purpose. You will become one of those few who is no longer living for Friday because you see each and every day as a chance to live your why.