“We have one nurse working tonight!”  It was not the first time I heard the comment and it would not be the last.  It was a common comment, almost like a theme, since I took over as interim director of emergency services in addition to my full time role.  However, the comment was beginning to give me post traumatic stress!  I felt worn out and overwhelmed.  There never seemed to be enough staff.  Plus,the staff we had felt burned out and stressed.  I did not blame them and felt helpless that I could not provide them the resources they needed and deserved.

Does this sound familiar to you?  Does this sound like, “the day in the life” in your current role?  I speak with leaders in other healthcare systems and know this is a concern in most places.   While I cannot assume how to provide the answer to our current staffing crisis, not just in healthcare but in almost every industry, I do bring hope!  That hope comes in the form of how we take care of ourselves as leaders so that we can take care of those we serve.  And by taking care of ourselves, it will give us the skills to make better decisions.

“Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.” - John Wayne

How You Feel is Okay!

How you feel is okay!  How many times do we, as leaders, set unrealistic expectations for ourselves?  How many times have you said to yourself, “I am sure ‘x’ (insert name of the leader you admire) does not have these types of feelings.”?  Wrong!  Every leader deals with the same emotions, whether it is fear, anxiety, stress, burnout or overwhelm.  It is what you do with those emotions that matters. It is how you use those emotions and your next steps that count.

Are you going to let fear consume you and stop you dead?

Are you going to let overwhelm crash over you like the tide coming in?

What You Do Next is Key!

When emotions feel like they are going to overwhelm you, stop.  You may not be able to control your first emotional response to a situation - the fear that seems to wash over you, or the feeling of overwhelm - but you can control your second response.  Do not react!  Take a moment.  Realize that you do not have to be controlled by the circumstances you are facing.  Instead, you get to determine what you do next.  Here are some tools you can use to help you navigate the current challenge you are facing.

PAUSE

What you do next after that initial reaction is key.  Sometimes it can define you as a leader.  Do not let emotion control you or how you respond.  It is okay to pause and take a breath.  As a leader, taking even 5 minutes to recenter and refocus is often crucial before you address the event that is in front of you.  For example, even as I write this my phone is alerting me that a staff member called out for tonight.  My first knee jerk reaction is one of anxiety and stress - how will we cover it? Should I start working on it right now?

However, what I will do is take a few moments to breathe, recenter and focus.  It does not make the problem go away.  But it gives me a moment to put the situation into perspective and not react offhandedly.  Then, I can deal with it from a place of purpose and with greater calm.  So, the next time an event comes screaming onto your radar, give yourself a moment to pause and collect your thoughts before acting.

PURPOSEFUL

After you paused and collected yourself, get purposeful.  Personally, I believe that all leaders are here to serve.  So, I try to take a moment to answer the question, “how can I serve this person/the team in this situation?”  Am I perfect?  Nope.  And you are not going to be either.  And when you fail, that is okay.  But begin to build upon the idea of being purposeful.  Do you know the direction you are leading the team?  Is your answer to the current crisis moving towards that purpose?  If you do not know your purpose as a leader, then you should block some time on your calendar and answer that question.  Because without purpose, you will constantly feel worn out and overwhelmed.

REALISTIC

Be realistic with yourself and your situation.  Sometimes you are trying to solve a problem that you are unable to solve alone.  Sometimes the issue is systemic, as in the example I mentioned in regards to staffing (there is a national nursing shortage).  You may not be able to fix the systemic issue.  So, be realistic with yourself.  Be realistic with your team.  Being realistic means you do not take ownership of things outside your control.  You take responsibility for what you do control, but you do not allow yourself to stress about things you have no direct control over.  Because if you are stressing about things you cannot control you are spending precious energy on things you are unable to impact.

RESPOND

Okay.  Now that you took time to do all of the above, you are ready to respond.  Remember, you want to respond with purpose and not react.  Reaction often comes from emotion and emotion is a fickle thing that often leads astray.  Responding comes from purpose and direction.  It is worth repeating, do you know your purpose as a leader?  Do you know your direction?  I will address purpose and direction in a future post, but it is important to know your purpose and direction before you respond.  When you respond, you set the course for your team.  You often diffuse the anxiety and stress of the team.  And by responding, you reduce your own anxiety and stress.  By responding, instead of reacting, you address being worn out and overwhelmed.

Back to the story of no staffing.  When I first took on the interim role, in addition to my full time role, I was constantly worn and overwhelmed by the constant bombardment of staffing issues.  I would react from anxiety and stress.  But as I followed these simple steps and started responding, I was able to reduce my sense of overwhelm to almost nothing.  Is the staffing still an issue?  You bet.  But because I have chosen to respond rather than react, I am able to better manage the issue.

CONCLUSION

You are not a slave to your emotion.  You are not a slave to the stress and anxiety going on around you.  Instead, you have the ability and option to rise above it, to overcome that sense of being worn out and overwhelmed.  Put these simple practices into place and you will be well on your way to learning to control your emotional responses to crises, both in your professional life and your personal life.  You will NOT get it right every time and, at first, you will rarely get it right.  But be patient with yourself.  Give yourself time to learn.  And as you do, you will learn not only how to deal with the overwhelm, but also a new skill set to deal with most crises as a leader.